10.

I have developed a sharp burning pain in my left wrist. According to my mother, it's being caused by a reformation of the ganglion cyst that likes to appear and disappear from the back of my left hand. She says that the same fluids that filled the cyst have now made their way into my wrist joint, and that I will need invasive surgery followed by physical therapy.

The causes of the ganglion cyst, as well as my moderate cases of carpal/cubital tunnel syndrome(s), include, but are not limited to, the following:
1. Excessive typing.
2. Excessive and/or improper playing of the guitar.
3. Excessive playing of the piano.

The moral of the story:
I should start smoking.

"Each day I also try to draw. It's a similar expulsion of buildup: Milking the cows every morning. Checking the chickens' eggs. Why should that be limited to a certain medium? Shit builds up inside you on multiple levels; if you don't degrease the system it clogs. Drawing brings me back to reality by sending me past reality, a sort of out-of-body perspective. The drawings creep off the page; they have to, if you believe in liberation. They climb to the walls the ceiling, they surround… they surround the drums. (I spend time decorating our practice room, and the rest of my house.) They influence the sound; before you know it they don't want to be dislodged from each other. They cohabitate, so they actually complement. They form and inform each other: I dumped a bag of jellybeans in a shallow wood box and covered them with glue. The jellybeans were making me sick. They went from friend to enemy, now they hang on the wall. I pass them on the way to the drum room. I'm wound up on sugar, singing jellybean songs. The colors could make a nice print; the print could cover the walls; glued jellybeans all across the floor. We could and should be writing a song based on fourteen small colored circles next to each other overlapping slightly. Why not? I come out of drumming with images in my head; drumming opens valves to drawing, back and forth. "

Brian Chippendale

early evening nap dream

i was in grandma and grandpas bed in great neck and i was in bed and eva walked into the room. her hair was short and it was sorta nicer than before. i had gotten out of bed to get the door and let her in but i got back in and she got back in too. we talked for a while about things that i can’t remember. then, i told her that her hair looked really nice. this is all innocent, i swear. i had no bad intentions. she looked shocked, but in that sorta flattered i-knew-it-myself type of way. i could tell she was flattered and, i liked it, so i was alike “yeah i didn’t recognize you at first. because…i don’t know, i’m used to thinking: eva…LONG hair. and it’s short.” i’m not sure if she said anything else, but soon she had to leave and she pulled me towards her and kissed me on the ear. i didn’t think twice about it and then she kissed me on the mouth but i don’t know if it was playful or not, it was definitely weird. at this point, she was standing and i really wanted her to get back into bed with me. i feel bad about that. but yeah. i reached towards her and i was “eva! eva!” and she was like “what?” and i moved up towards her and as i did, she slowly turned into jeremy who growled at me and moved in to eat me. i’ve never been attracted to eva in my life.

song for a movie

if i had just delivered something that you called a song
maybe then you would have noticed there was something wrong
realize you can not sell your soul before too long
ohhh these eyes keep staring back please can you make them stop

lullabyes are sand beneath the feet of idle minds
tell me when you came here what was it you thought you'd find?
realize that no one wins and everybody lies
ohhh please won't you stop me now it's never gonna end