R.I.P.

If I finally eliminate all of you, can I then rest in peace? My life amounts to nothing more than an enervating series of evasions and repulsions, and, failing that, rejections of all those that enter into it. By being alone, with no one even caring, I get the fleeting sensation of immortality. As I exist out of mind, I exist out of time. But, in the end, this is the most devious mirage of all. Because, looking back, when I wonder what has happened to my youth, my untroubled years -- then it will be manifest that I have always been the one who has not existed.